I don’t know who is sicker- the person addicted or their family and friends?
I mean that quite seriously, and I mean no disrespect to anyone by making that statement. Lately, the calls
I have been getting are beyond ridiculous. People are so caught up in the addictive cycle, that they have lost
their common sense.
I will give you a few examples-
1. Family says their loved one is physically abusive when they drink—- but doesn’t want to call the cops to
get them in trouble?
2. Individual wants to detox from Ketamine- but wants to know if our doctor will still prescribe 360mgs of
oxycontin for his bladder pain
3. Family has a business, and wants to know if their loved one can come after 5 for treatment and then go home each
night. They are drinking, abusing pain meds, and on anti-depressants. They are not concerned about him quitting-
just cutting back a bit.
4. Family has a function that they need their loved one to attend as they don’t want people to know about their problems-
They need them healthy again in 14 days so that they can attend.
5. Individual wants to do outpatient for hydromorphone addiction as they have things they need to take
care of at home.
6. Wife does not want their children involved in their problems, so she won’t create boundaries around
the addiction, and allows her husband to disrespect her in front of the kids and pass out on the floor.
She was requesting someone come in and remove him.
7.Family does not want to pay for treatment, but openly admits they pay their loved ones rent and car
payment when they spend too much money on drugs or alcohol.
8. Individual does not want to pay for treatment. He has done quick fix programs in the past that
haven’t work and still spends $2000 a month on drugs. He’s still thinking he can do it on his own and
has thought this for the past 14 years.
9. Family is fighting amongst themselves. Some are enabling, and some are wanting their loved one to do
treatment and some have walked away from the chaos. No one has confronted the loved one about this yet.
No one has sought professional help to help create boundaries.
10. Parents calling because they are concerned for the well-being of their grand-children. They know they
are being neglected and subjected to the afflictions of their son’s addiction, but don’t want to cause any
problems by confronting the situation or protecting their grandchildren.
I could go on and on. But I am sure from this blog, you all get the gist of what I am trying to say.
It is 100% DENIAL.
Denial does not make anyone well. It keeps everyone sick. Facing the facts and finding
a solution that makes logical sense is the answer.
Our program has always been and will always be an ethical program. We do not take money to lie or
deceive people into our program. We will not accept additional funds to modify the program to suit
someone’s whims or wants. We will not exclude clients from mandatory programming, just because they
don’t want to do it or it would make them feel better to not do it.
If these individuals who called had the answers to their problems- they would not be calling.
They may call other Treatment Centres that will take their money, cheques or visa payments and give them
what they want—-BUT it is not what they need. We have to stand behind our ethics and principles. We will
not pay for clients and will not be paid by clients to tell them what they want to hear. We will continue
to offer the most authentic bio-psycho-social and spiritual program in Canada. We will continue to support
our clients with a responsible, compassionate and solution based approach that focused on over-all wellness.
We will encourage our families to access support to learn about co-dependency, creating healthy
boundaries that support their overall wellness, and create a foundation for healthy relationships
in their own lives.
Remember I am a family member in recovery too. I was sick once as well. Wellness does not happen overnight.
It takes as much work as it did enabling….. BUT the focus is now on the whole family healing. That takes
times and it takes effort. It demands that families ( including the person addicted) listen to what the
experts are recommending, coming up with alternative coping strategies, dealing with resentments and
building trust. The reward will be that each person can live an authentic and honest life. Relationships
can have real conversations based on truths. Families will know when to help, and when to let their loved
one do things on their own.
It is about everyone feeling healthy and content with their decisions. If you let us do what we do well-
Each person will discover self-worth and purpose.
If you agree to let go of what hasn’t worked and allow us to help you in your journey of wellness- we can
help you to create a wonderful life plan for yourself and your family. Just remember it takes time. There
are no quick fixes. It is a continuum of recovery……Day by day, you will continue to move to a place
in your life where one day you will be grateful for the whole journey.
In health and wellness,
Director of Peer Support
Co-founder of Turning Point’s Habitude Program
Wife, mother, daughter and Recovered Family Member.