HOLIDAY SEASON can be a blessing or a curse. Many people enjoy the warmth and the spirit of gathering with those we love, to celebrate the idea of love and family. Some others would prefer to hide and never be found for the entire month of December, and maybe secretly celebrate January 1st as the day at last the holiday spirit is gone (at least commercially). Wether you or a loved one is the second case, here’s a very useful guide to follow through, find your place of peace, honour your feelings and simply enjoy choosing to be alone, without feeling lonely.
1. Listen to yourself. Yes, listen, journal, write it. There is a lot of information coming from you to you. If you are not paying attention to it, then you are missing a big part of who you are. Listen, it will reveal wonders.
2. Be nice to yourself. Whether nice or naughty, be kind to yourself first. This little exercise will help you find peace of mind. Unless we are talking about the unimaginable, we are not either “that” good or “that” bad. We are humans struggling to find our ways around an already established society. It’s OK to think differently, it is alright to questions the rules. But be kind to yourself first, it will teach you how to be kind to others.
3. Feel sadness. Yes, feel it, and let it go. Sadness is one of life greatest teachers. Dance with it for a bit, and you’ll soon discover is not worth the time, the attention. Let it go, let it be, and let in that lesson.
4. Make new friends. Welcome people to your life without much expectation. Provide them freedom to be, without attaching to them. Make friends with people
that are doing something you would like to do, they will teach you. Make friends with people that match the ideal of who you would like to be, you will become one of them. That’s the gift of human interaction and empathy. Use it!
5. Meditate. Try to find the tools that will help you meditate, there are audios, books, community classes, and plenty of options for free. But remember, meditation means simply sitting and finding yourself and your thoughts and your emotions. It means to feel where you are, and be at peace with it. The hardest task is to love ourselves unconditionally and fully, meditation means allowing you to love yourself that much.
6. Enjoy the road alone. Allow yourself to be happily alone anywhere. Go to the movies by yourself, have a coffee or tea on your own, go for long walks. Appreciate how it feels to be alone, this may allow you to feel grateful when you have company (or when they have left, which by the way, it is an ok feeling).
Our relationship with ourselves is the basis from where we understand our relationships with the world. Loving yourself and being patient and kind to yourself, allows you to project it to others equally. Once you’ve taken the time to understand who you are, you will find little space in your own time to judge who others are. Remember no matter what your biggest defect is, it is only yours and yours to work it out. Finally, ask yourself if what you do, criticize, hate, love, appreciate, or suddenly don’t enjoy any longer is “who you are” or simply an “acquired habit”. Habits can change, who you are will be forever the same.
Happy Holiday season, with your loved ones or without them, but fully with yourself.