What is a good Dad?

What is a good Dad?

By Tammy Francoeur

Today is Father’s Day and for many it is a day of celebration, gratitude, and reflection.

Unfortunately, not every man who has fathered or raised a child is a good dad.

An unhealthy father thinks:

1. Being a sperm donor makes him able to call himself Dad

— (that  just makes a man a creator- not a father)

2. Popping into their lives now and then

–( that just causes hurt, pain and abandonment issues)

3. Not providing for them physically, socially and financially is OK

–  ( that just makes a man selfish)

4. Disrespecting their mom is OK

–( that  just causes the children to feel fear, sadness, and resentment and may even teach them to disrespect women too.)

5. Choosing not to deal with an ongoing substance abuse issue is their personal choice

— ( that just tells children the substance is more important than they are)

6. Yelling and screaming at their own children is acceptable and OK

— ( that  just makes them seem childish and out of control and very mean and hurtful)

7. Not being involved in family functions, the kids school work, or activities is justifiable and OK

–( that  just tells them you don’t care about them)

8. Working too much is acceptable and justifiable

— ( that just teaches the kids that money is more important than they are)

9. Not taking care of physical and mental health is only affects them

–( that just makes kids worry and scared)

10. Being physically violent or verbally abusive is acceptable or justifiable

–( that  just makes kids fearful and angry and teaches them that violence is OK)

11. Showing them what an unhealthy, uncaring and unmotivated father does won’t affect them

–( that just teaches them that it is ok to live like this too or with someone who is like this as well.)

12. Threatening them to keep secrets is OK in those situations and justifiable

–( that  just teaches them that lying is ok and it is more important to live a lie than live in truth)

13. Telling them things that are meant for adult ears and should never be their burden to hear is being honest and open

–(CHILDREN want you to be their parents- and don’t need to know)

14. Having the kids make “parental” decisions is OK

–( it is not OK because it will cause them to live in fear for their dad’s well-being.)

15. Ignoring kids and missing events is not really hurting them-

–( hurts just as much as physical pain)


       A healthy dad: 

  1.  Knows what his role is, and is willing to be a parent 100% of the time
  2. Always puts his kids first
  3. Never bad mouths anyone that his children loves
  4. Loves his children not only by words but by his actions
  5. Know that he not only needs to own his own mistakes and shortcomings, but does something about it
  6. Mentors his children to deal with challenges without putting themselves or their healthy relationships at risk
  7. Is reliable
  8. Is loving to himself and others ( no verbal or physical abuse)
  9. Leads and lives by positive example ( involved in his community)
  10. Is not engaging in any problematic mild altering substance
  11. Takes care of his own mental health
  12. Is engaged in his child’s life- school, work and home
  13. Does not encourage unhealthy behaviour in his own children
  14. Teaches his children to be independent
  15. Keeps his promises
  16. Loves life too
  17. Know the difference between what a healthy and unhealthy dad would do for his children.

If you are a Dad’s struggling with substance abuse issues who wants to be a good dad, 

call us 1-877-523-8369





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